Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
