Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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