Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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