this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
