Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize