I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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