i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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