So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
