I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
