Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
