Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
