Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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