that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
