my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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