My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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