if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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