I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
