Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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