The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
