do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
