If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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