Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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