bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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