he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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