I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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