At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
