So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
