i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
