when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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