No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
