maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Two words: blizzard sex
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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