go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
