Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
