Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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