There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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