Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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