Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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