so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
