Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
