He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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