K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
