I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
