Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we're making bets on your personal life
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
