I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My hand turned me down
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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