Its about making memories worth repressing
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
