Is it normal to miss your booty call?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
