"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
