If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
