I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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