But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
