She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
my poor anus
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
