I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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