I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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